Meet the Prince

["Meet the Prince" text appears]
[Cut to Prince Blueblood sitting on heavily decorated chair while servant brushes his mane]
Blueblood: "Why, hello there, my subject. I'm a Prince, that means I solve problems."
[A gunshot ricochets off the chariot near Prince, servant jumps, but Blueblood ignores it]
Blueblood: "Not with my own hooves, mind you, because that would fall within the purview of servants and low-class citizens."
[Two more gunshots ricochet off the chariot, close to Prince's head. He glances briefly at the bullet holes]
Blueblood: "I solve problems with bits."
[Prince rises his head, making servant pause, takes expensively looking truffle from a nearby crate and bites it as the level 1 sentry gun near him swivels round and shoots an unseen Octavia]
Octavia: (screams)
[Prince puts down truffle and lays down, while servant continues working on his mane. The Kill counter clicks up from 209-210]
Blueblood: "Let me give an example..."
[The camera shows a BLU Celestia in the background trying to sneak up on Prince]
Blueblood: "...How am I going to stop my big mean auntie Celestia from pranking my carefully groomed, muscular backside to oblivion?"
[The sentry gun notices and kills Celestia. The Kill counter clicks up to 211]
Blueblood: "The answer..."
[A level 2 sentry gun fires and kills Berry and an unseen enemy]
Berry: (Screams)
[Kill counter clicks up to 213]
Blueblood: "...buy a gun. And if that don't work.... [A level 3 sentry gun fires rockets] ...buy more gun."
[Servant steps aside, and Prince takes a mirror and admires himself. A large explosion is heard and Prince grins happily]
Berry: "My leg!" [from off-screen]
[The Kill counter clicks up to 214. A severed hoof lands in front of Prince, who continues looking into mirror. The level 1 sentry gun targets the hoof]
Blueblood: "Like this expensive heavy-caliber, tripod-mounted, all techy-like turret designed by best equestrian minds working for me..."
[His servant kicks the hoof, which is shot out of the air by the level 1 sentry gun]
Blueblood: "...built by factory owned by me..."
[The level one sentry gun shoots yet another attacker. The Kill Counter clicks up to 215.]
Blueblood: "...and you'd best hope...not pointed at you."
[The camera zooms out from Prince as his sentries continue to devastate the attackers. It is revealed that Prince's chariot is crammed full of BLU Intelligence, and that his 'campfire' is in fact the burning Celestia's chariot.]
[Various screams]
[ending flourish music]